And What If We're Betrayed?

I would like to share a personal experience that was published in Spanish World Tribune. This is the English version. And What If We're Betrayed? By Alina Marrero English Translation by Andy Sanchez The Lotus Sutra teaches that everyone possesses the supreme, lofty state of Buddhahood, source of infinite hope and courage. In other words, courage and hope do not exist someplace far away, beyond our reach, neither do we obtain them from without. Anyone who sets his/her life in rhythm with the universe, no matter where they live and go about, can tap into a fearless life state, vast as the universe, and then cause this life state to shine with great radiance. Daisaku Ikeda, (Guidance offered at the 22nd Headquarter Leaders Meeting held in Tokyo General Headquarters) No doubt about it. She wanted me to get angry. "A friend whom you trusted betrayed you and me," the person told me. For her own personal reasons, the woman speaking to me was full of anger, and wanted my solidarity. "She's a hypocrite!", she said. In less than a second, I recalled recently read articles by President Ikeda, such as The Cure for War. I also remembered advice received from friends in faith throughout 20 years of practice, as well as my first encounter with Josei Toda. From the onset, Mr. Toda became my model for forgiveness, courage, personal security, unshakeable faith, and solidarity with humanity. It's a model I've constructed with the building blocks of President Ikeda's guidance, where Mr. Toda is continually mentioned. Yet, it is not only Josei Toda that our mentor (from whom I've learned to learn) mentions in his writings. Charles Chaplin and Victor Hugo, among others, are two human beings that President Ikeda also talks about, and from whom I've also learned to learn. From Victor Hugo, specifically his novel Les Miserables, I learned that a determining factor for human rehabilitation is to never lose trust in the innate goodness of others, no matter what they do. All these things and more, such as the guidance about the three types of friendship, as well as the Law of Cause and Effect -that expounds that everything that occurs to us is information about our karma - intermingled in my mind. Yet, something stood out with unmistakable prominence. It was the feeling that I had suddenly acquired an essential skill, a specific wisdom that is not consciously achieved, but arises naturally. I reflected upon this: prayers are answered, of course. But if we pray to learn forgiveness, the occasion to forgive must arise so that we may learn. If we wish to learn bravery, we must understand that, before taking action, we will not learn what bravery is. When our goals are big and profound, equally big, profound, and difficult! will be the obstacles we confront. Being betrayed by a friend is a hurt more painful than being betrayed in love. There I was talking to someone, simultaneously realizing I also harbored the same immense pain in my lifet. Yet, in a flash, all my years of faith, practice, and study arrived to the rescue. This is what actually occurred: I was struck most by the suffering resulting from the terror felt by the person before me, as she considered possible consequences from the event she narrated. Her immense fear and anguish moved her to seek solidarity against her betrayer, from someone (me) who had also been betrayed. Thus united, we would win the battle. We would trust the betrayer no more, not ever. In fact, we would warn everyone against her. We'd save humanity from her. But, dialogue with her about this issue? Never!! Waste of time. She wasn't going to change. And since she wasn't going to change, she had to be gotten rid of. This type of reaction, prevalent in so many people, is to be expected. But in the en, it proves to absolutely ineffective. Throughout the ages, great men and women have united with a single voice: hate is not answered with hate. Bertolt Brecht, in his poem, To Our Successors says: "Hate, even against degradation, twists our facial features. Anger, even against injustice, grates the voice." Treason can prove to be an excellent excuse for hating, and hate, one of the best excuses for disunity. On the other hand, justice is unifying. When justice triumphs, it triumphs for all, even for those who've erred. But, in this case, who erred? I decided to talk to the person before me about no other treason except that committed by me, and to simply deal with her as the human being she was. She was afraid of confronting her betrayer, supposedly to prevent creating a chain reaction. "If I tell this woman how I feel," she said, "she's going to create trouble. She'll tell everyone her own version of the story, and they're going to believe her. Then so and so are going to get on my case, scolding and screaming at me. I'm sick of it!" "Who are you talking about?" was all I could think of saying, "and why do you allow them to treat you like that? President Ikeda encourages us to say what must be said," I reminded her, "and to dare to take steps toward being who we really are, no matter our being misunderstood, and let me tell you, nowhere in his guidance have I seen your name mentioned as an exception. In none of the Goshos written by Nichiren have I read that Buddhism works for everyone, except you, or that wars everywhere will end if you allow people to treat you like that." Right then and there, I reminded her of several of President Ikeda's acts of courage, as well as how he trusted us, considering neither our imperfect nature, nor that we actually make mistakes. End of conversation. I knew I had to take action. I sat in front of my Gohonzon, and determined not to lose faith in the innate goodness in everyone. I called the person whom I felt had betrayed me, finally dialogued about my feelings, and went back to chanting. Several days later the person I felt betrayed me and I talked again. She had chanted ten hours reflecting on herself. "My worse disloyalty is against myself," she revealed, "and when you spoke to me a few days ago, I felt ashamed. I determined to be loyal to myself, and to win. I spoke with the person who talked to you about what I did, and she told me what she thought of me. I, in turn, told her my opinion of her and, in the end, we finished our conversation without ending up as enemies, talking about President Ikeda's guidance, and how we saw each other in the movement for kosen-rufu." While she talked, I felt moved. Something wonderful had occurred with the three of us. She had done something very brave, and so had the other person. And so had I. Impossible not to share victory between the three. I profoundly reflected on my own disloyalty towards myself, towards others, as well as on my fears, since these two women, functioning as mirrors, helped me see that. The next day, the three of us received work related benefit, and arrived at the same conclusion: What could have become a gossipy muddle, a cause for disunity, we turned it into a vehicle for growth. What an honor to be working with these two wonderful women for Kosen-rufu in this lifetime! It occurred that, precisely when I had to make a crucial decision, I reacted responding to a burning desire to make a difference, and the environment, inseparable from us as it is, responded. We can all make a difference in these times of war. President Ikeda has said that one human revolution in a single person can change the destiny of a nation, indeed, the history of humanity. This occurs when, in our daily lives we set Buddhism in action, with absolute confidence in this great truth. This is something me Carryn need to learn about.....

Inspiration, Wisdom, and Anecdotes

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present "Seven Wonders of the World." Though there was some disagreements, the following received the most votes: 1. Egypt's Great Pyramids 2. Taj Mahal 3. Grand Canyon 4. Panama Canal 5. Empire State Building 6. Stonehenge 7. China's Great Wall While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there are so many." The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help." The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the ‘Seven Wonders of the World' are: 1. to See 2. to Hear 3. to Touch 4. to Taste 5. to Feel 6. to Laugh 7. and to Love The room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous!

Fortune from Gohonzon

I had two great gifts from Gohonzon yesterday. I chanted from 2.30 to 3.30pm. Upon finished chanting, I thought of going online for a while until 4pm and I did. Just when I connect the phone line back to my house phone, a call came in and the conversation is as below:

Mrs. Lim: Hello, can I speak to Anna?

Me: I am, who's speaking pls?

Mrs. Lim: I'm Mrs. Lim from Tadika Seri Soka.

(I was puzzled at that time. I don't know what to say or think. I was BLANK!)

Me : Oh, Is there anything I can do for you?

Mrs. Lim: Well, yes. Are you interested in coming to teach in TSS?

Me : Em... yes. In fact I am planing to go for interview after my exam and Thesis presentation.

Mrs. Lim : Is that so? We need a teacher that can teach music. The previos Malay teacher who taught music resigned. When can you come for an interview with TSS principle?

At this point, I was elated, confused and blank. Gohonzon really geng lah... Really!!! The second present from Gohonzon came just after the first. Two in a row! I received a call from my senior Chun Hoe.

Chun Hoe: Hello, Anna? I'm Chun Hoe, free to talk a while?

Me : Oh, hi! Yup, I'm free now.

Chun Hoe: Congratulations! You have passed Akademeia Training!

Me : Oh, results out already?

Chun Hoe:Yup. We will be having Akademeia Convo meet on the 26th this month. However,

I'd like you to do a favour for me.

Me : Oh, what's that?

Chun Hoe: Can you share your experience during the meet? About how you do your Akademeia,

most importantly share about shakubuku.

Me : Oh, but, I only shakubuku a few people only worh...

Chun Hoe:Few people also people mah... Can ah?

Me :O.k!

It was a double bonus for me yesterday. I was so down the night before and luckily Shu Ting was there to encourage me. If not, I already given up studying for Molecular Biology exam today. Couldn't help myself from really thank Gohonzon from the bottom of my heart. I prayed that I will get to teach in TSS successfully ASAP. Actually I was quite worried as what I want to do during the holidays. I wanted to continue going all out for kosen-rufu here in Kajang and with that I will need to find a job to support myself. I chanted to Gohonzon, actually I promised Gohonzon 3 things:

1. I'll go all out (my life and whole energy) in Kosen-rufu battles

2. I'll go all out (my life and whole energy) in my studies

3. I'll go all out (my life and whole energy) in cultural practices

I made the above 3 promise to Gohonzon during when I was in my second year second semester. That time I chanted for a Industrial Training place near my house in Kajang. I promised to Gohonzon that I'll go for home visitations everynight if I am given a place near Kajang. And I did.

Today, another present from Gohonzon. I received a mail from my friend Nicholas Chua from India. A big parcel was posted to my house in P.D. I just can't wait to go back and look at it. For your info, Nicholas has been my pen friend since form 4. He's from Port Klang. heheh.. Cute guy, tapi younger than me and sudah berpunya. Heheheh... Well, it is full of surprises from Gohonzon everyday!

These few weeks I've been chanting 3-4 hours perday to keep my spirits high during the Finals. Now, it's down to 2 papers from the initial 7 papers and my Thesis presentation is on the 30th March, 2.55-3.10pm. Got to go now! See you guys!

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Aloha and Sayonara

Finally, I finished my last paper on computer knowledge. Yeah. But, after visited my own blog, I realize that soon enough need to change the info bout myself from Acad S/02 to graduate/ 05, feeling weird, my life as a student will officially finish after Wednesday, now I have to start worry about my future, my future career, my future planning and etc. i am very blur here. Anna atleast know what she want, Zephyr don't need to worry as he still have one more year in USM.What should I do to my life? What do I want? Without any reason, I rejected a job that offered to me two week ago, why? I also don't know, I just not yet ready as I don't know what I want. My life will getting more and more blur if I don't start to chant for wisdom and chant for fortune. Today, me and my housemates went to USM to take photo, I will leave USM soon enough, three year in USM, I never like USM, I never feel I am one of the 30,000 students. I don't know why, I just don't like it although its one of the best University in Malaysia. So I should say, I not really enjoys my Uni life. I miss the chance and now I have to leave. For all SD who will soon enter University, do appreciate every single moment in University and take time looking around, find a good friend there and live life with no regret. Today, I dint get myself any guidance or study anything, so, I have nothing to share. But u guys are always welcome to link the site at the sokalink, u will get yourself many useful material and guidance, do share with other. I will leave Penang on 26 March, maybe will take off from blogging. For the time being, Anna is here to rescure the blog. Do continue to support us. See ya.

President Ikeda's Daily Determination

THE ABUNDANCE OF LIFE Today, I rededicate myself to Kosen-rufu: To be strong so that nothing can upset my peace of mind To talk of health, happiness and hope to every person I meet To make friends feel that there is something good and beautiful in them To look at the sunny side of everything and to be optimistic about life To think only the best, work towards goind and expecting only the best. To be just as happy about the successes of others as I am about my own. To forget any mistakes of the past and to press forward to greater achievement in the future. To give so much time to improving myself, that I have no time to criticise others. To be too strong for fear, too kind for anger and too happy for worry. Tolift my heart in faith each day, so that the Gohonzon may show forth in my life.

---- DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT ----

A person who is always trying to be the most earnest, who is always trying to take more action than anyone else, will certainly create a golden history. He or she will, for sure, open up a great path towards a truly glorious life! To be concerned only with your own happiness is egoism.To aim for the happiness of yourself together with others is the spirit of humanism. Let's confidently share the supreme philosophy of Buddhism with others.Throughout the world people await! * "'Joy' means that oneself and others together experience joy. ... then both oneself and others together will take joy in their possession of wisdom and compassion." (Ongi kuden, Gosho Zenshu, page 761, The Record of the Orally Transmitted Teachings, page 146) The key point is that joy is something we share with others. To be concerned on you with one's own happiness is egoism. To claim you care only about the happiness of others is hypocrisy. Genuine happiness is becoming happy together with others. (The Wisdom of the Lotus Sutra, Volume 5, page 37) "When the spring of victory comes after a winter of harsh trials, everything is transformed into happiness and joy. Without having cried, you cannot genuinely laugh; without having suffered, you cannot savour real joy. I’m sure there are times when, in the midst of some difficulty, you think ‘Why me?’ But that in fact is your chance to fulfil the mission you have chosen. The deeper your suffering, the greater your mission." SGI Newsletter No. 6381, The New Human Revolution—Vol. 17: Chap. 1, Main Bastion 46 --- DAILY GOSHO --- "And yet, though one might point at the earth and miss it, though one might bind up the sky, though the tides might cease to ebb and flow and the sun rise in the west, it could never come about the prayers of the practitioner of the Lotus Sutra would go unanswered."

guidance to share

"...the obstacles to kosen-rufu are not external, but internal. We limit ourselves through our cowardice and weakness, which give rise to a defeatist attitude and make us think that we will never succeed. Arrogance, meanwhile, leads to negligence and indolence, which will bring about our downfall. "It is therefore crucial to overcome such negative tendencies and shatter our delusions. Doing so requires tremendous determination. We need to be firmly resolved to achieve our goals and chant to the Gohonzon with a strong pledge to realize kosen-rufu. Furthermore, we need to take courageous action. Taking action creates momentum and power." SGI Newsletter No. 6381, The New Human Revolution—Vol. 17: Chap. 1, Main Baion 45, translated March 14th, 2005 --- "If you are passive, you can’t demonstrate real ability. If you only take action when people tell you to, you will not savour the true vitality of life. The important thing is to decide that you are personally responsible for kosen-rufu in your community and take the initiative. Stand up as the protagonist of your local organization. That’s the way of life of a Bodhisattva of the Earth. If you do that, you will experience joy and strength welling up from your being." SGI Newsletter No. 6378, The New Human Revolution—Vol. 17: Chap. 1, Main Bastion 43, translated March 11th, 2005

Sharing

Dear all, This is a journal entry by a young lady, Mei Kei. She is only 19 yrs old and taking her STPM this year. A full scholar from TAR College and many many responsibilities. When I was reading her journal entry. I couldn't help but deeply moved by her undaunting spirit to challenge. Read on and stand up to succumb the challenges you face. This should be the spirit of youth and a disciple of Ikeda Sensei. If she can do it, you can do it too! Happy reading!! --- I came across a lot of Ikeda Sensei's guidances on youth, that youth who are able to go through suffering are truly lucky. Although I did not disagree with this phrase, I never really felt it..till lately. This year will be an extremely busy year ahead. STPM, being so new in music,a senior in Taekwondo, and just as I was pushing myself further in kosenrufu and Soka Gakkai activities...It was a suffering time indeed, especially when I thought of joining in KK, I knew it will turn my whole schedule upside down and leave me with no time to rest. I have to rush to places, from college to Taekwondo, from KK practice to another Taekwondo, to meetings at night and homevisitations whenever I can afford it...Everyday struggle begins as early as 4.30am or on Sundays (except 2nd week), 5.45am...and all these ends as late as 12am or 1am everyday. And not to forget I have to travel to college every Mon-Sat for 1 1/2 hour or 2 hours everyday. Now, due to the lack of sleep, my travelling time becomes my daily sleeping time. Sometimes I just felt so exhausted that I just wanted to forget everything and let myelf sleep. Or I could just turn my handphone alarm to sound at 5.15am instead of the unusually early 4.30am, because I wake up so early to chant anyway. I was worried if I could not handle it after all...or did not score a result good enough to ensure me place in Local U, or was put into a local U too far for me to fulfill my mission in my own district (or lets just say I don't like to leave home). I was struggling with myself,catching up with studies, projects, attend and prepare meetings (and must prepare them well too, for the main purpose is to make sure every member had something to bring back and felt encouraged),with classmates so competitive that I never fail to feel so stupid in class. And surprisingly, as I joined in Culture Group, all of a sudden all other groups like Junior Division and Student Division, seems to have something to do with me as well..not to forget YWD and High School Division which I am already a person-in-charge. Thinking of all the meetings I have to attend sends a shiver down my spine.. However, lately I was able to tell myself, "I was beginning to enjoy the process of struggling and suffering. I began to truly felt that youth who are able to suffer is truly lucky.In fact I was rather hoping I could be like other people or my seniors...suffer even more.But still, they had their mission and I had mine.If all of us were to have the same mission, I have no reason to live.I enjoy the suffering now, I enjoy seeing the transformation in me,I enjoy struggling and winning over myself.I just enjoy it...to be able to suffer is just..great!" I remember telling one of my members briefly how my schedule will be like this month. I do agree with her she say that my busy life now is indeed fulfilling..in a sense. I told her that I believe the reason I have to go through all these is to be able to encourage a single person...to be able to show actual proof, how I go through the year admist facing an important exam and pacing up in kosenrufu as welI.I still have got a lot to learn. It was just on last Tuesday where I had to attend a YWD Prep meet for out divisional discussion meet in March. After facing two stressful tests and going off to All Leaders' Meet in IPA the night before, I reached home late and tired out.As I haven't got the time to go through my material for the meeting due to the tests, I read it up that night and slept late, waking up 4.30am as usual on Tuesday.Getting a badly scored (and failed)Maths results that day is already not good, and I grew tired and very exhausted..perhaps because of the lack of sleep for the past whole week worrying about things.It was the worst exhaustion;mentally and physically;that I gone through this year.I can't even remember when is the last time I felt so worn out.That time, I just wanted to go home and sleep..but I can't as there's a meeting I cannot afford to skip. I had to took all possible time at breaks to sleep in the canteen and in the bus on my way back.And after reaching home and finishing up a few matters, I am only left with 20minutes to take a nap (with my clock placed right in front of my face so that I won't overslept).Then I forced myself out of bed to do my prayers and pick a member up.Surprisingly,at the meeting, I was no longer tired, and ideas just flow out that we are able to roughly sketch out how we are going to bring out out topic on "What is Freedom?" in an interesting way.Later was able to briefly shared this bitter yet another great day with my senior-in-faith, who was going through almost the same thing that day (hey! If you are reading this,please remember to put on alarm when you want to sleep.Surely you don't want me to come banging on your bedroom door everytime a meeting starts!) This month is going to be a busy one...looking at my organiser filled up with so many pen inks scares me sometimes...but hahaha, I like to see it that way. 2nd Sunday was supposingly a "holiday" to me off KK practice,but plans change as I was put in charge of a book sharing session in Soka Family Day...and I just bump into a Soka Fren today while walking back who told me,"Come find me when you are free!!" Looks like I am destined to be busy this month :D Of course, I don't deny times when I will be down, but I learn to accept that I am just human with emotions. I am grateful of the support I felt from my friends and senior-in-faith, as well as other comrades.The important thing is not to be defeated by all these "blues" and continue to press onwards. Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy... "That when your head fills, With problems and worries, And when on sleepless nights, Anxious feelings assail you, The only possible answer is 'Onward!' "

AGAIN!!

Again, someone has awaken me Again, I felt shame on myself Again, I saw something great Again, I felt proud of you However, I won't compare with other However, I will follow my own speed However, I will learn in my own way However, I know I wont forget my identity Yet, there are so much thing to do Yet, I am too slow to stand up Yet, I have done not good enough Yet, I have too much thing to learn from Sometimes , I wonder who am I Sometimes, wonder what can I do Sometimes, I so hate of myself Sometimes, I just don't know what to do Maybe, I never like myself Maybe, I never put effort Maybe, I never chant powerful doimuku Maybe, I am just nobody Perhap, now is time to start Perhap, now is time to share Perhap, now is time to let go Perhap, now is time to fight so, I hope I will proud of myself So, I hope for a better me So, I hope I can tell u something great So, I hope I remember my own determination well, I guess I am somebody Well, I guess I can do something great Well, I guess I just need some confident Well, I guess I have to chant lot more doimoku

Broga

I went to Broga yesterday evening at about 5PM. Great haul from the visitation. I'm glad I did went to Broga as I have many times thought of going, but, somehow something happened and I couldn't make the trip. Yesterday, I went there alone and much has happened to the YWDs there. I felt a little regretful as I didn't follow up on them for a period of time. Nevertheless, they seem happy to see me coming to visit them. I visited 2 YWD and a local aunty. Talked to them quite lengthy as to really catch up stuffs while I was not around with them. Fairly happy that they are still cheerful despite of the problems they faced. I departed from Broga at about 7.40pm. It was quite late as the day was turning darker. I was quite worried while on my way out from Broga. Chanted that I will make it out to Kajang safely and I am grateful for the protection from Gohonzon. Perhaps next time if you guys come to Kajang, I'll bring you guys to Broga, a peaceful small town. Then you guys will understand why I chanted all the way out from Broga (8 miles). I'll be having Kimia Fizik paper today at 3.30pm. Well, wish me luck!

Feelings

Mixed feelings is what my heart feeling now. I don't know what to think or do right now. It's just weird, very weird. A part of me will tell myself : "Wei! Don't think so much, study first!", another part of me will say : "Rest a while, there is still time before the exam...". Whenever I chant to Gohonzon, I'm always thinking of 24K also Kosen-rufu and GCO also my dreams. My eldest sister just sent me an e-mail with links to a site which offers scholarship to study abroad. She said at the end of her e-mail :"Grab the opportunity to study abroad." I don't know what to say. My heart wants to study here in Malaysia and also abroad. I just have to be sure of my mission. Perhaps I'll awaken to my mission after I graduate, with sincere daimoku and also seeking guidance from senior in faith, as what my senior suggested me to do.

I hated viva so much that at some point I just don't want to do anything about it. Let the lecturers say whatever they want and I'll get on with my life. I know very well that I'm running away from it and I just need to keep up my daimoku to tell myself I cannot do that. Why am I taking so many papers in my last semester? Seven papers plus thesis, all together 19 units. My friends hardly have more than 4 papers to go for this semester. Well, part of it was that I still need to fulfill my 100 units to graduate and I took more than 100 units (around 104 or 105 units). I try to learn new things with a heart to learn it not for the sake of passing exams.

Yup, that's my intention of taking other subject from other fields. I attempt on Health Physics, Educational Administration (I did a report on The Philosophy of Tsunesaburo Makiguchi in Soka Education), Basic Chemistry Physics and Radiation Biology, and the rest are my core subjects. To be frank, I actually enjoy learning all the new things and I'm happy about it. There are many quizes and assignments all along, but, I managed to pass all of it o.k if not with flying colours. Whenever I got back my quizes marks, I always remind myself of the purpose of taking those new subjects. I tell myself : "What the heck, just enjoy learning new things lah!". Well, this thought worked miraculously. The quizes marks didn't made any effect on me except I constantly remind myself of really to understand the meaning behind every sentence that I'm learning and to enjoy myself with it.

Now, it's time to talk to my future. What do I want to do? I talked to Mum on Sunday about my planing to study Masters in English. She gave the green light with addition :"You do whatever you want to do and what you love most". I was elated to hear about this from her. Before this, I just didn't have the courage to tell my mum and dad about my decisions, but to the things that my mum have said, I'm very happy that my Mum agree with my dreams. I haven't got the chance to talk to Dad, he's working in Lumut for the time being.

I always pray for my Mum and Dad's health and work. I prayed that Shoten Zenjin will always surround my Mum and Dad in their jobs everyday and during when they are travelling to and fro from home to work place also not forgetting their health too. To both my sisters, I always pray for them the same too. I am very thankful to Gohonzon for protecting my family and friends and I pray that Gohonzon will continue to do so forever. Whenever I chanted to Gohonzon, I feel peace in serenity in me and I'm enjoying chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo. The joy just kept pumping out from my heart within and I enjoy it very much. It is just so great that I got to know about this religion and I just have to share it with other people too.

Thank you all for your time and please do come to our blog frequently. To Carryn and Zephyr, you guys are the greatest! Thanks for being there. I pray for your happiness, health and growth in faith. I just couldn't help to think what would I do without you guys!

#Daily Guidance 14th March:

A person who cannot compliment others is lonely and has a narrow heart. On the other hand, when people praise one another, beautiful exchange becomes possible.

#Daily Guidance 12th March:

Faith isn't for anyone but yourself - its all for you. Working to spread the Daishonin's teachings, devoting yourself to chanting daimoku, and studying doctrine while you are young are all tasks that transform your life into a garden of blessings and merits.

Have a great week ahead!

Too happy

I just can't control my laugh, I am very very happy now, this morning, while I eating "tim sum" with my housemate at around 8.30am, my lecturer suddenly phone me, she wanted me to see her as soon as possible, I thought this time terrible d, as my theses need to change again, she wanted me to get her all the references I used in my thesis, and I rushed back home to online to search for atleast something to show her, but nothing much I can do as she want to see me so urgent. But, I do get her something, a little something to show her. In the room : lecturer: " regarding to your thesis, surprisingly your thesis is exactly what I want, I want to know who help you in it" me : " oh, eh..... Well, this i actually I took from internet and there is a template and I.... bla bla bla lecturer : " I want all your references u put in your theses" me : " actually I have no copy for my references as I just copy on the spot and its abit too much to fotostat all of them and also most of it I got from internet, I can show you some info I save from the internet" seeing my info lecturer: " oh, that is very good, its exactly want I want.. bla bla bla conclusion, my theses format is exactly what she want to present to CIDB ( Construction Industry Development Board), my theses will be a guideline for her. Which I don't understand is, my first and second draft, she complain so much till I cried back at home and run back to alor star so frequently, but now she want it so much as I actually only took the behind part of my previous theses to show her as my final draft. Then she told me she haven't even read my first draft.. Sigh.. It's sure save lot of my time if she just read it for the first time as tried so hard to tell her that my theses is exactly what should put if follow my thesis objective but she just refused to listen and made me gaduh with Anna, I wonder why she wanted so much to torture me for so long, maybe this is what we called " lecturer+ supervisor". now my nightmare is over, I can truly enjoy my computer game and back to my normal musical life. I take this opportunity to thank my friends who helped me during the process, especially Anna and Zephyr, help me to translate and find information for me, most of all, thank for keep encouraging me and never give up me. I sometime really behtahan with myself . For my housemate, nana, thank for playing game beside me to motivate me to finish up my thesis,to Uncle Vic, thank for concern and keep asking bout my progress,to Poh geok, thank for teasing me all the time for my laziness, to Jess, thank for doing your theses in such a slow progress as I atleast not the only one who dint pass up my thesis, to mama, thank for borrowing your theses and helping me in all the computer stuff. To wee hau and wen long, thank for not disturb me and a lot more..Not to forget, thank to Gohonzon for help me through all this.

A little update

Recently has been VERY busy finished up my thesis and finding references for my supervisor hardly sleep, maybe due to stress, maybe I am sick, or maybe I am just too busy, but for sure, my eyes now look like panda and I can't think properly. Its quite dangerous for me to cross the road as most of the time I am dreaming and thinking something else,so I choose to stay in student house instead of going out site to eat, to school, to library and etc. So, don't be surprise if suddenly u guys find me become abit skinny, abit older, abit "blackgreen". What a good way to diet, don't need to waste any money and get the result. Well, now I am listening to light and easy, the old pple station as Anna and zephyr said, but I just like it, harmony and I feel calm. Everything will be over after Thursday, whatever the thing happen, I wont forget what Anna told me, to chant. But the weird thing is, everytime I chant, I hardly pray for my thesis, my school stuff and my future, there is a dream I keep continue to pray and to fight for, even after so many year. I am still refuse to let go. I keep remind myself to pray for my thesis, but it will later turned out to be the same prayer. Now, after writing this article, I realized that, the four major prayer indicated my major concern which trouble me and always make me confused with my life. 1- prayer for my family. After my father past away, no one actually know that I actually have a promise with my father before that, I keep it for so long as I so scare I cant makit. And for my mother, you have talked to me too much about your dream, your desire, your expectation, your prayer, and I seem to be the only one who actually listening to you. 2- prayer for special someone to get absolute happiness and pray for the total let go and me live life to the fullest. 3- for my stupid dream, so far away from me, but, I always hope one day the day will come 4- for my own human revolution, then I remember Anna,zephyr, I pray for our friendship forever and I needed to change some of my bad attitude in order to makit turn into the reality as I cant manage to let the second case happen in my life anymore. Maybe after tonite, my prayer should add another one - to not think much. But I always has so much thing to think of, people who know me should know that. I am not actually that happy as shown on my face,but, when I talk a lot, mean, I am happy, when I keep silent, then you should know I am thinking too much already I now really know why Zephyr,Anna and my friends keep adding "don't think too much" behind the SMS. I just received reply from Anna, she said me popo mama, hah, nothing, I just think of her then sent her SMS to know how is she, she has so much paper to study for, really have to study hard for that, well, I needed to learn solve thing alone and really become a comrades for a friend. Anna asked me to go sleep early. Well, I have a long way to go.. Wish everyone dream become reality and everyone happy from now on.

Exam...

It's 2.32 am now. I know I SHOULD be studying right now, but I've decided to online for a while. To take sometime off studying Health Physics (Fizik Kesihatan). Well, before you all try to say something (especially yfen and bh), I've done my revision 2 times at least over this subject, then only I online. I still know that I need to study. These few days have been quite weird for me. I just don't know why. Perhaps, devils are begining to chance when I'm trying to do something correct. Usually like that one lor, when one begins to really stand up for something that is correct, devils will come and kacau. Hehehe... I reackon that is what is happening to me right now. Last Saturday my YWD honbu called me, my YWD chapter vice chief and another girl from Balakong to a lunch at Mines. At first I thought maybe she wants to just have a normal gathering lor. Well, later we found out that we are going to heed our new mission as YWD vice chapter chief. I was a little shocked and happy; but, later did calm myself down. Past few weeks I have been chanting to Gohonzon that I'll strive for Kosen-rufu after my exam and viva (during the long holidays) to find my future. Before this (when I was in second year), I did chant to be promoted as vice chapter chief, it didn't turn out to be so. Perhaps at that particular time I am not ready yet. In fact, when I was in second year did I manage to do my job as a District leader (after so many years... I was promoted to Han when I was just in Form 3... then a District from Form 5). Back then, I didn't really carry out my role as a District leader, not until when I was in my second year in UKM. I believe these are all Gohonzon's best path for me. I still believe that now and forever... Hehehe...

So, what has this got to do with my weird feelings these few days? It coincides with the concert that Galaxy Chamber Orchestra that will be held on the 23rd of April. I was one of the committee members for the concert. Somehow, the first meeting turn out to be a discussion over our feelings about GCO and about the concert. To be frank, when I first heard of the concert, immediately the word 24K flash through my mind. But, to the other committee members, they did have other views regarding this concert. For them, the think of it as just a music appreciation and a concert dedicated to the parents as a form of saying thanks to their patience and time in sending their children to GCO pratices. Yes, I do agree on this, but, can't we do more than just thank them? Can't we make this concert a present to the parents, family, friends and also to Ikeda Sensei?

I was quite upset about this concert. I wanted so much to give the biggest present to Ikeda Sensei. I wanted to perform in front of him. How? I found out that, through 24K I can give my biggest present to Sensei although I couldn't perform in front of him. Yesterday was the second meeting, I didn't say a word throughout the whole meeting and was constantly falling asleep during the meeting. I slept around 3am and woke up at 7.30am to fetch local HSD to Kaikan for cultural activities. This is the lamest reason that had come out from my mouth! I didn't want to look like that... But, devils really is taking opportunity on me now. Deep down in my heart I felt sorry that I've behave like a kid during the meeting. Just now, when I chanted to Gohonzon, I just made a promise to Gohonzon that no matter what, I will feel the happiness each time I go for practices at kaikan - I mean in every practice. Last Saturday's pratice was like hell to me. That is the first time after going for practices for 8 months constantly to feel like throwing my RM800 violin on the floor... Breaking it into bits and pieces and never to touch violin for the rest of my life! Hah... Scary huh... I was shocked too, at myself having those silly thoughts.

Well, I constantly remind myself of this praticular exerpts of Gosho: "To accept is easy; to continue is difficult. But Buddhahood lies in continuing faith." Really, it is easy to aceept, but can one guarantee that he or she will continue faith after 10, 20, 30 or even 50 years? It's hard to say all this, let alone one really realize their mission for the rest of their lives in this world. So, what can we do about it? For me, I would say carrying out the practice of Study, Faith and Action. Continue to strive in the pathway of Kosen-rufu no matter what until the end of my last breath in this world.

It's 3am now, I guess I would stop here for the time being. After my exam on Tuesday, I shall continue here in this lovely Blog. For Yfen and BH, thanks for being there when I'm sad and happy. Thanks very much. You guys are the greatest! The best present from Gohonzon is to have you guys as my life comrades! Cia You!!! Yeah! All the best in your finals! Ganbarimashoo!

Daily encouragement

"It is a mistake always to contemplate the good and ignore the evil, because by making people neglectful it lets in disaster." These are the words of the American writer and social activist Helen Keller (1880-1968).... "We have all seen malicious, wicked people intent on destroying our movement for kosen-rufu. Great good is demonstrated precisely through overcoming great evil. We must not permit our beautiful, harmonious realm of faith to be disrupted by evil. It is crucial to see through such people and take them to task. "The Daishonin's direct successor, Nikko Shonin, harshly rebuked the slander of the Law by Niko, one of the five senior priests who betrayed the Daishonin. He writes: 'If we did not disavow the aberrant teachers who go against the teachings of the Daishonin, we would be guilty of a grave offence'(Hennentai Gosho, 1734). "Evil spreads rampantly, bringing misfortune to all. That's why it is so important to thoroughly refute it and sever it at the root. If we don't, we expose our earnest and good-hearted members to misery."

Happy = Gloomy

Today turns out to be both a happy and gloom day. Happy because I passed up my thesis already. Gloomy because... My feeling is like riding roller coaster. It came down from the highest peak to the lowest ground. My heart nearly BURST. I wonder what will it be like if i have had a heart attack when i received the info. My heart really sank. Sank till the bottom of Ocean Deep. I don't know how to write all this. I have had enough.

Death...

Death awakens the dawn of Life...

JAVA by Emile Svitzer

While doing gongyo and chanting daimoku this morning, I found myself praying for the people of the South Asian countries affected by the recent devastation. Though concerned for all the lives there, I could not help but think about one person in particular: a Men's Division member in India named Java.

I met Java at the Florida Nature and Culture Center (FNCC) Men's Division Conference in August of 2003. Encountering Java and what he had to share has profoundly affected my life, as well as the lives of those with whom I have shared my experience of meeting him.

On the first day of the conference, I noticed that some men, perhaps less outgoing than others, were sitting alone at meal times. I made a determination that at each meal I would find one such man to sit with and hear his story. At the next meal, I noticed an older East Indian gentleman, who appeared to be in his late sixties, sitting alone at a table, so I introduced myself. I'll never forget how his face lit up with excitement as I introduced myself and asked to join him.

After telling me his actual, full name, which I tried to pronounce, he mercifully told me that everyone just calls him "Java" and that he lived in India. When I expressed how impressed I was that he had made such a long journey to the Men's Division conference, Java confessed that he had actually been in Washington State when he heard about the conference and decided to come. He had gone there to visit a member who was facing an obstacle and needed encouragement. Somehow, I was even more amazed by this than the idea that he had traveled all the way from India for the FNCC conference--and I told him so. That's when he laughed at me (in a very nice way) and told me about his first experience meeting SGI President Ikeda.

At the beginning of his practice, about thirty years ago, Java traveled to Japan, where he had the great fortune to receive personal guidance from President Ikeda. At that time, Java was very poor and had spent the last of his money to make the trip. Thus, he immediately complained to President Ikeda that this terrible poverty karma was his big problem in life and the one thing he most wanted to overcome.

Sitting down with him, President Ikeda said, "So, you want a lot of money, then?"

"Yes", Java said.

"And if you get it, what will you do with all this money?"

Of course, Java had a whole list of things he intended to do with the money, but sensing that President Ikeda's question was deeper than this, he did not immediately answer. Sensei went on: "Java, you may ask me for a knife, and I might give it to you. But what will you do with it? Will you use it to hurt someone... to hurt yoursel? Or will you use it to carve an ordinary piece of wood into the image of the Buddha?

"From a Buddhist perspective, everything in life has two purposes: its basic purpose and its true purpose.

"The basic purpose of this building we are sitting in now, for instance, is to protect me from the sun and the rain while I sit here. But the true purpose of the building is to protect me from the sun and the rain while I sit here... and encourage one person. "

The basic purpose of a car is to enable you to travel a long distance. But the true purpose of a car is to enable you to travel a long distance... and encourage one person.

"The purpose of having money is to buy gasoline to put in the car, so that you can travel a long distance. But the true purpose of having money is to buy gasoline to put in the car, so that you can travel a long distance... and encourage one person.

"Why do we pray each morning, during gongyo, for the protection of the Buddhist gods? We pray for the protection of the Buddhist gods so that we will be safe as we drive in our car, and travel a long distance... and encourage one person.

"If you possess a thing, like a car, but do not realize its true purpose, then you may as well throw it away. But if you pray for your desires with a sincere determination to realize its true purpose, then you will always have what you need."

Whoa.

Java told me that he went home from Japan with his "mind totally blown" -- and with a new determination. From that moment on, he began to chant from this new Buddhist perspective, just as President Ikeda prescribed. Shortly thereafter, Java's son became extremely successful and wealthy in his business and retired Java from work. Java has never had to worry about money since. His son provides him all the money he ever needs so that he can go anywhere in the world, at any time... and encourage one person. That's what Java was doing in Washington State.

During our meal, Java went on to share other guidance he had received from Sensei, but now my own mind was too blown to absorb it all. Unfortunately, that was the only time I got to have a private dialogue with Java at FNCC, as I was determined to stick to my plan of sitting with someone new at each meal. So I went around telling all the other men's division if you get a chance to speak with this fellow, Java seek him out...he'll blow your mind." From then on, at meal times, there was always a huge crowd of men around Java's table and all we could do was wave to each other across the room.

Since that FNCC conference, I've shared Java's story with dozens of individuals and at various meetings, hopefully encouraging at least one person. I have determined that in 2005, I will make Java's determination my own, putting President Ikeda's profound guidance to work in my prayers and in my actions.

President Ikeda's daily guidance (For Today and Tomorrow, December 29) reads: "Who is truly great? I hope you can develop the ability to discern true human greatness. A great person is someone who forges unity among human beings through sincere dialogue, armed with a solid philosophy, feet firmly planted on the ground. A great person is one who lives among the people and earns their unshakable trust. Fickle popularity and temporary fads are nothing but illusions."

When I read that, I thought again of Java. I regret that we didn't exchange email addresses. If anyone out there knows how to reach him, please let me know. I would like to know that he is alright. I am praying that he is. And if he is alright, then I know exactly what he's doing.

Chinese New Year Celebration

Well, Happy Chinese New Year!!! This Morning I went to P.D meeting venue for the Chinese New Year Gongyo Meet together with my sisters. Although there were not as many people as we used to have, nevertheless, we had a lot of fun. As usual, we started of the meeting with sonorous gongyo, then there were new year greetings from Sensei, GD and members of the floor. It started off with a WD who stood up in no time to wish all of us the usual CNY greetings, then she sang a new year song. Well, the rest of the members begining to say out their CNY greetings followed by singing songs. I didn't know that my chapter has got that many good singers. Then, it came the time to the next program - lucky draw. This year all three of us (my sisters and I managed to bring back one present each from the lucky draw. My eldest sister got a big hamper. Hehehe... Well, of course it is not because of we got the hamper then only we are happy or what so ever. But, we had most fun in meeting all the MDs and WDs. They looked even younger than the last time I've seen them. Their faces were glowing with the spirit of Gakkai in their heart. I was even happier to meet them than to get presents. To be able to meet them is the biggest present that I can ask for. Mmm... I wish you all a Happy and Prosperous Year ahead! Drink more water ya!! Enjoy!